Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day. Through The Good Mental Health Project’s Perinatal Mental Health Campaign, we’re joining organisations across the world to raise awareness of maternal mental health.
The perinatal period is often thought as of all-consuming; physically, emotionally, and mentally. Many parents/expectant parents spend their days responding to constant demands, noise, and responsibility, moving from one task to the next without a moment to pause. In this context, taking notice can seem impossible, unnecessary and even pointless.
Often when life feels intense or overwhelming, our attention is pulled into “doing” mode; getting through the next trimester, day, appointment, feed, sleepless night. Without having moments of awareness, it can be easy to miss the things that bring us joy or comfort and consequentially, can lead us to feel disconnected from ourselves, our bodies, our loved ones and the world around us.
In a time of significant transition, taking notice during the perinatal period can act as a steadying practice; not to fix or change how things are or feel, but to help us stay connected to ourselves as we move through it.
The Five Ways to Wellbeing
Taking notice is one of the Five Ways to Wellbeing (New Economics Foundation, 2008) because it supports awareness, grounding, and emotional regulation. Our brains are wired to focus on threat and danger; this is how we stay safe. As a result, our attention is often pulled toward what’s stressful, worrying, or urgent and all the things that have, could or are going wrong. This is particularly true during the heightened responsibility felt during pregnancy and early parenthood.
Noticing moments of safety, beauty, or gentleness (often referred to as glimmers) within the chaos of daily life, is not something that often happens automatically. It’s something we must actively choose to do. Noticing these moments do not erase any difficulty or discomfort but they can exist alongside them, offering brief moments of relief for our nervous system and helping to create balance within our emotional wellbeing.
What do we mean by ‘Take Notice’?
Taking notice doesn’t have to look like formal mindfulness or long periods of stillness. It isn’t about daily yoga, clearing your mind, or meditation; unless you want it to be!
Taking notice can involve internal awareness; gently noticing what’s happening within you. This might be becoming aware of a feeling, a bodily sensation, or a thought, without analysing it or trying to fix it. Simply noticing an emotion or experience and allowing it to be there is enough.
It can also involve external awareness; noticing what’s around you in the world outside of yourself. This might be something small, ordinary, or quiet, offering a moment of grounding or connection.
Ways we can ‘Take Notice’
Taking notice can be woven into everyday moments, even on the busiest days. It might look like:
Noticing externally
- Feeling the warmth of a cup of tea in your hands
- Watching your baby’s chest rise and fall as they sleep
- The feel of your fluffy socks
- Noticing the weather, the sky, the moon, or nearby nature
Noticing internally
- Naming a feeling quietly to yourself, without trying to change it
- Noticing tension or softness in your body
- Becoming aware of your temperature, hunger, need for fresh air
These moments don’t need to be noted, shared, captured, or held onto. Simply noticing them is where the magic happens.
Remember
Taking notice is a gentle, simple decision you can choose at any moment. It is not another thing to add to the to do list as a task to complete. It’s about allowing small moments of awareness to exist within a busy, demanding time of life. You don’t need to notice everything or worry about ‘doing it properly’. You also don’t need to feel calm, grateful, or positive for it to count. Every moment of awareness, however brief, allows you to be present and aware and can positively contribute to your overall wellbeing.
If taking notice brings up strong or distressing feelings, you’re not doing it wrong. Support from a trusted person or professional can be an important part of looking after your mental health.
What is something I can take notice of more that I often overlook?
My experience - The quiet side of becoming a Dad by Jack Woodhams
No one really prepares you for this stage of becoming a dad.
There is a lot of focus on mum, and rightly so. She is going through huge physical and emotional changes. At the same time, there is you, standing close by, trying to support, trying to stay strong, and not always sure how you are actually feeling yourself.
The truth is, it can be tough, and not in ways people always talk about.
You might feel lonely, even when you are surrounded by people. Friends check in, family visit, messages come through, but something still feels a bit distant. Your life has changed overnight.
You might feel helpless, especially in the delivery room. You are there watching someone you love go through pain you cannot take away. You are holding a hand, saying what you can, but inside you might feel completely out of control. That feeling can stay with you longer than you expect.
You might even feel jealous at times. The attention is on mum and baby. The bond between them can feel instant and intense, and you might wonder where you fit in those early days. That does not make you a bad person. It makes you human.
Then there is the fear. Worrying about money, work, parental leave, and keeping everything steady. Thinking about your partner’s health, the baby’s health, and your own ability to cope. It can feel like a constant weight in the background.
All of this is normal, even if no one has said it out loud to you before.
A lot of men struggle to say they are having a hard time. There is a quiet pressure to just get on with it, to not complain, and to not make it about you. But keeping everything in can lead to feeling more isolated.
Even on the hard days, even when you doubt yourself, what you are doing matters more than you think. Becoming a dad changes everything. It can be incredible and heavy at the same time. But also the best role in the world.
You do not need to get it perfect. Just keep showing up, and do not forget that you matter.
Support and Resources
Mental Health Support
- Mental Health Support Network provided by Chasing the Stigma
- Action on Postpartum Psychosis – Peer Support Yorkshire Group
- Find care for your mental health before, during and after pregnancy – NHS
Useful Apps
- Headspace – Mental Health App for Meditation and Sleep
- Calm – App for Meditation and Sleep
- Insight Timer – App for Meditation and Sleep
Thriving with Nature Guide
The Thriving with Nature guide is produced by WWF-UK and the Mental Health Foundation. Packed with inspiration and information, the guide will help you connect with nature throughout the year.
