Day 1: Connect – Why connection matters for Perinatal Mental Health

The perinatal period (pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood) can be one of the most connected and yet loneliest times in life. Relationships change, identities shift, and many parents find themselves feeling isolated and alone; even when they are surrounded by people. 

The Five Ways to Wellbeing 

Connection is one of the Five Ways to Wellbeing (New Economics Foundation, 2008) because it is essential to our emotional wellbeing, resilience, and sense of belonging. Feeling understood, seen, or supported by others helps regulate emotions, reduces stress, and reminds us that we don’t have to do everything alone.  During the perinatal period, when life can change rapidly and feel unfamiliar, supportive connection can be especially protective for our mental health. 

Connection doesn’t always look the way we imagine it will 

 When we think about connection, we might picture large social gatherings, close friendships, or romantic or physical closeness. While these can be meaningful forms of connection, they’re not the only ones, and they’re not always realistic! 

Connection for wellbeing often shows up in smaller, quieter, and more manageable ways than we might expect. There may be times when you don’t have the energy to socialise, or when finding the words to explain how you’re really feeling feels impossible. Friendships can change, others may not fully understand your experience, and reaching out for support can feel hard or overwhelming. 

But connection doesn’t have to mean big conversations or busy social calendars. It can be gentle, brief, and on your own terms.

Ways we can ‘Connect’ 

Connection can take many forms, the growing bond with your baby, a moment of shared understanding with a partner, or feeling supported by a family member or friend. It may come through conversations with professionals, online spaces, or a sense of belonging to something wider than yourself. Connection can also be found in the world around you: spending time in nature, immersing yourself in a hobby, listening to music that resonates, or getting lost in a book or film.

Connection can help us feel grounded and offer the reassurance that you are not alone as you navigate a major life transition. Every small moment of connection counts, and each can play a meaningful role in supporting your overall wellbeing. 

These moments may look like: 

• Sitting next to someone without needing to talk 

• Putting on some music, watching a movie or picking up a good book 

• Sending a shorter message/voice note instead of replying in full straight away 

• Attending a group and simply listening 

• Connecting with your baby through touch, eye contact, or talking. 

Connection can also include professional support; from midwives, health visitors, peer supporters, or mental health services, particularly when things are feeling overwhelming or hard to manage on your own. If you’re able to, reaching out to someone may help you connect with others in a similar place, ease feelings of being alone, or offer you a safe listening ear; whether that’s from someone you trust or a professional who can provide support. 

If connecting feels difficult right now, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human and navigating a significant life change. You might find it helpful to ask yourself, “How can I connect in a way that feels manageable for me right now?” and allow yourself to start from there.

If connecting with others ever feels too much or brings up difficult emotions, it’s okay to take things at your own pace and seek support when you feel ready. 

Remember: There is no right way to connect, only a right way for you. 

Looking after your mental health is especially important during major life changes, such as pregnancy and early parenthood and connection can be a helpful way to support this. However, it’s key to remember that this ‘connection’ looks different for everyone. We all need different amounts and different types of connection, and there is no right way to do it.